The Second

"We might not be able to control the first thought but you can control the second."

Let's be real. We can't control others thoughts. All we can control are ours, right? Today was a day of wrestling with this very thing, others thoughts and my thoughts. Yesterday, a co-worker came in and thought he would do me a favor by letting me know that there are other people I work with that are scared of me. Yup, scared of me. When he released those words at me, I felt my heart become so sad. Are people really scared of me? What have I done to make them scared? I tried putting this conversation in the back of my mind and pretty much did just that. At least until I saw him at work again and he gave me "the look" like I need to make sure I am being as nice as I possibly can be. When that happened, I felt this rush of emotions, and then all the negative self talk consumed my head for most of the morning. 

Why is it that we allow others thoughts, whether they are true or not, control us so much? Why then must we start to beat ourselves up with the negative talk? I was doing just that. I'm such a jerk. I'm no good at anything. No wonder my relationships are so hit and miss. I'm worthless. People would be better off without me. When these and many more statements started happening, I know I needed to bring these lies out of darkness and into the light. I went to God with this lie, and then reached out to my sponsor. I needed the reminder that I can control the second thought. I can control my part. Its a choice though that has to be made. Sometimes we just need a friendly reminder of the truth! See when we allow ourselves to sit in the dark with these lies, alone... That's when the real damage starts to happen. 

What lies are you believing tonight?? What lies do you need to bring truth to and light too??