Changes and Anxiety

Last night, all I was thinking about was how I was unable to post a blog due to not having Internet at where I was staying for the night. So, tonight I take advantage of the free Internet, and the time to post for Nonstop November!

November has started with many blessings and with those blessings are coming change. In the past, change has gotten the best of me at times and I have been hit with a flood of many emotions. Some that were manageable, and some that took their toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally. Fear of the unknown consuming me. Deep feelings of loss and hurt. Even sometimes feelings of feeling like I was drowning and never going to make it to the surface of all this change. 

With change, have you ever felt like your identity has been taken from you or that you are alone in all the chaos that comes with change.... Both good and tough change??

Yesterday started the chaos of some of the changes going on in my life. In the last month I have started working Saturdays at my job, to pick up extra hours and also help at the counters, since work has been getting busier on Saturdays. I have loved every minute of my new Saturdays and all that I have been learning!! However, the only downfall to working the new 6 days a week schedule, is Sunday is my only full day off. So, that made this weekend of change tough, and it has gotten the best of me. 

Last night right after work, I headed home to start packing my room up, so I could move the next morning into a new place, where I am renting a room from an amazing family! Thank the Lord my mom decided to come out from the desert to help me, otherwise I know I wouldn't of been able to do it on my own. Well, as the packing started, the headache hit me. This past week I have been so stressed out over time and all that needs to be done. The week had something going on every night, and it just left no time, lots of fear and worry, and many sleepless nights. As we were driving to my aunts, my anxiety secretly consumed me. All I could think was I need to get alone. I need to retreat. I need to cope how I always seem to. Instead, I stayed quiet, until we pulled into get food real quick. The anxiety and fears were screaming... And then, it hit me hard. I opened the door just in time, and got physically sick from all of the stress and anxiety consuming me. The rest of the night, I ate nothing and just rested, getting nothing done the rest of the night. 

Today started another busy and early day. Packing, loading 4 car loads and then getting some what of my new room ready to start the new week tomorrow. Finished and then headed to my step study and then heading to church to serve with an amazing crew for the Sunday Night Service at Saddleback Church where I attend. It was a busy day, but I had to put my anxiety and fears in check, constantly speaking them out. Today has been long, but so great!! I'm so glad to get home and pass out. 

How is fear and anxiety holding you back today??

Much Love