"Those People"

Tonight started as a normal Monday night has been, for the past four months. Pizza and salad, laughter and fellowship, and the start of an evening where there is no mask required. Where you can be as broken as you want, and still be welcomed. For almost four months now, I have been attending a recovery group at my church called Celebrate Recovery, or CR as some people call it. For about the six weeks I sat silent in group afraid to show my hurts, habits, and hang ups.

See, when I first heard about CR four years ago when other people I knew were going, I never thought I would be the type of person that needs to go to CR. I was never "that person" who had all the problems. I didn't do drugs. I didn't have a drinking problem, or any other other issues. Instead, I just would do child care for the parents. I never thought badly about the people that attended, but just thought... They have issues and clearly need to work through them. Not being judgmental at all... But still thinking, I would never NEED to go.

Tonight, I was actually referred to as one of "those kind of people" and I was shocked and saddened. For so long I fought being one of them, but realized I am one of them.

Hi, I'm Mary, and I struggle with alcohol, codependency, depression, food addiction, isolation, anger, and self injury. I'm a survivor of mental, emotional and sexual abuse.

I am one of "those people". I realized though... "Those people" aren't bad people. Maybe made some bad choices, walked down a wrong road, or maybe even had something happen to them that they couldn't control and want to find healing and ways to deal with the affects. In fact, I now look at "those people" as some of the bravest and strongest people I know. When I am struggling I look to the ladies in my group and know I can receive support and encouragement. When I want to cut so badly and I know I can't tell any of my "normal friends", I know my brothers and sisters are there, "those people" I use to think I would never be, I know I can get support and strength from. And when I celebrate day 60 of not cutting, it's a big deal. I know I can sit in the circle and be as honest as I want, and it will be okay.

I now have a sponsor who I talk to regularly. She is there to support me as I go through the steps and is there during those times when I want to give up. I know she won't allow me to give up, because if I did... I would be giving up on God, and the amazing plan He has for myself. I now am officially one of "those people", and I wouldn't change it for anything. Why, because I'm starting to realize that I'm worth it. In the words of my sponsor, who has overcome so much herself, and is such an awesome example of healing and redemption... "Allow us to love you, until you can learn to love yourself." Every time when I'm struggling, which sometimes is daily... I hold onto that. I am accepted and loved for who I am, not what I pretend to be.

So... Tonight I ask you, what label have you put on others? What label have you put on yourself? We are so quick to label others and ourselves, and yet we never see past that... And see what the label is really made of. What's beyond the label?

I'm grateful to be one of "those people"!

Much Love